My Momma Bea

First, I loved my Mother. Then I loved my grandmother. My Father passed away when I was six and my brother and I were more or less raised by my grandparents, while my Mom returned to work. It is only now that I could have been a grandparent myself that I think of how difficult this may have been for them. Those were their retirement years and instead they had two young children to put up with and all the trials that came with it. They never wavered and got the job done regardless of any difficulties. I don't believe we were easy to raise at all. In any case my grandparents left me with an affinity for older people. I seem to not only understand them, but to enjoy them.

Bea came into my life when we rescued a goose that had fishing line imbedded in its leg. Its a story in itself and has been written and even sold to the Nelson Daily News. That was back in 1993. In the years between then we became good friends. Although I admired her Independence and strength, it also frustrated me at times when she would not ask for help on harder tasks. I would find her sawing down a volunteer hazelnut tree that was growing in her hedge. It was more than and inch across and very solid wood. That time she at least let me finish it for her. But for the most part she ran her house and garden all on her own.  In later years I was allowed to shovel snow for her but I had to get there early or she would have finished it already. Eventually I could no longer keep it up either and she hired someone to do the shovelling.

Most of my suggestions for change fell on deaf ears, even though her hearing was fine. When I suggested the birds had a whole lake to drink out of and didn’t really need a heated bird bath all winter,she simply replied that the lake wasn't “warm water”.                

                                                                           

Beas place was a haven for many animals and all were welcome as long as they behaved. The bear took down the fence getting his fat bottom over it and that required the Milner men to come in and fix it. The deer were given all leftover winter apples and the birds of course were fed for many years every day. Of course the skunks and raccoons came as well. For years Bea would live trap these creatures and move them out to Buchanan to a new life. She was careful and calm and seldom got “skunked”   Once she caught a rather large one and had to use  her wheelbarrow to transport it to the car. She called her car "Bridget".  This little car transported more than twenty skunks out of Kaslo, free of charge. On one occasion Bea and I had been to Nelson and upon our return did not want to deal with the latest captive. We decided to let it go and catch it another day. I thought maybe she  

had them half-tame and I approached the trap but as always I spoke first- for my efforts I got a face-full of skunk!  It burned and blinded me for a short time. Bea was in attendance immediately and mixed up the skunk treatment and applied it to me. After that I left  her on her own and only once accompanied her on one more transporting. She seemed to know what she was doing and I had learned I was no Skunk Whisperer for sure.

Bea baked me many many cookies. She  made a lot of cakes too. Little wonder I weigh what I do now. As time went on I saw her on a daily basis and was able to help her a bit more. I became the chauffeur for drives to Nelson. In later years there were a few “discussions” of my driving and I found this a tad annoying at times. But for the most part we got along very well and helped one another in various capacities. Her pet peeve with me was my lateness in picking her up for blood tests. I must have driven her crazy as she was an “on time” kind of person. Sometimes she would start out without me if she was too frustrated at my lateness.  We both had dogs and a cat as well. When Bea was away I would care for her animals and when I needed someone for my dog Keeper, Bea was always up for it. This enabled both of us to go on a few holidays or hospital stays and not have to worry. On one of my moves from the farm it was Bea that took my cat home in a carrier and left him in the bathroom to be picked up at a later date. Our relationship was surely not one-sided and we both benefited in some way or the other. We shared many a coffee together and many laughs as well. We had a similiar kind of humour and it often was about animals.

The Milner family was a large part of both our lives and Bea seemed always to be making something for one member or another. It might be a new scarf for the girls or a nightie for Meg or socks for Bruce and Adam. I certainly was not left out and received socks and slippers and vests and her very last gift to me was a sweater that I love and will cherish for a long time. I doubt hand knit things are as appreciated as they once were but I know we appreciate what Bea made for us.

Bea was a very hard worker and in the end that is what caused her move to Nelson. Her back was fracturing as she continued to try and keep her garden in good shape,as she always had. Her body would no longer do her bidding and it simply became necessary for her to move. It broke her heart even though she made the decision herself. Her wish was to return home even though that was impossible. Now she has moved again and somewhere I know she is right back preparing a garden somewhere.


If you see a cloud that looks all pruned up and cared for I bet that is her work! Bea had a wonderful twenty of more years of retirement lived her way and how she wanted it. She did well here on earth and never shirked any work that needed to be done. I called her My Momma Bea as many of you know. The only trouble with having an “adopted Mom” is then you get to lose two! But she lives on in our hearts and simply was a damn fine woman in my books!